HEAD!! HURTS!!

Had another migraine episode this Friday afternoon, mostly thanks to waking early and only having one plate of Hokkien Mee as breakfast and lunch. My mum says if I get migraines this easily, it’ll be hard for me to be a pilot, since they’ll have to handle even more strain. Honestly, I’m half-convinced my current physical health won’t hold up to those RSAF medical checkups. Considering I failed the basic one for SYFC, I think the actual Air Force one is going to be a foregone conclusion. Sigh… Oh well, if so, then I’ll try SIA instead. Surely, THEIR pilots won’t have to pass multiple G force tests? Right?

I’ve been having dreams centered on a recurring theme. Unfortunately, the security and privacy of this blog has been compromised, so I can’t be forthcoming with the details. Anyway, had you ever had a dream where something bad occurred, and for a while after you woke up, you still thought it really happened? I once dreamt I crashed my dad’s car, so for a full 30 minutes after I woke up I thought I had to take a train to school, until I saw it resting in the driveway, quite intact. The recent dreams have that sort of quality, but the unfortunate incident depicted in them, while not as physically catastrophic as a thoroughly thrashed vehicle, was so haunting that I couldn’t shake off its effects for a long time.

Now, I read somewhere that dreams are supposed to be a reflection of a person’s subconscious thoughts and desires. Regarding the episode portrayed in the dream, I’ve told myself to get a grip, move on, let it lie fallow and let things recover. But evidently, my subconscious is resigned that things are truly irreparable. I suppose it has gone pear-shaped, so much so that I’m not even on Square one right now, but Square negative-something. The most frustrating thing is, I haven’t a clue where to start working to make things right. (I think) God told me not to do anything for now, which is a smart idea, as I’ll probably be doing the wrong thing if I tried. Still, being stuck in such a lousy situation, not knowing if things will ever work out the way I want…I guess that’s him testing my faith and patience. Is his will and my wants aligned on this matter? And if they're not, what in the world am I going do?

Sad, really. Even now, the scene keeps playing over and over in my head, like those annoying display TVs in Harvey Norman. And simply entertaining the thought that it could actually happen in real life…ouch.

On a lighter note, I watched Advent Children on Channel 5. Seriously, it’s purely targeted for the fanboys. Anyone unacquainted with the FF7 universe will not understand anything. Trust me, I found out the hard way. I had to read the plot over Wikipedia after I first watched it. Anyway, it reinforces a theory of mine, that NO CHARACTER EVER TRULY DIES IN ANIME. Aerith keeps appearing in annoying flashbacks, where the camera insists on not showing her face and Cloud is mouthing emo lines about how he let her die. Come on, she’s suppose to be dead, about the most non-interactive state of character existence possible. But no! She gets more screen time then Barett, Sid, Rufus, Vincent, Yazu etc. She probably got more screen time than Sephiroth…which just shouldn’t happen! But, hey, if the fanboys want to see 3rd generation graphics Miss Gainsborough and Miss Lockhart, well you can’t argue with them can you? Fan-service FTW…