Prolonged drought. Dry spell.

Must have lost interest. A more major issue is the feeling of exposing too much. It just doesn’t feel comfortable when others seem to read you like an open book, while you feel bad that you don’t really know as much about them. Only the fact that it’s a new year motivates me to update the blog, since everyone else seems to be doing the obligatory New-year-reflecting-on-past-year thing. Oh well, here’s to opening cans of worms…

First on my list, is the final unraveling of the issue between me and Jolene. After 6 months of erm….generally poor (I first toyed with the terms “silent”, “cold”, etc, and nearly settled for “bad”) treatment, there has finally been a number of peace conferences. Non-binding agreements have been made for the thawing of diplomatic relations. Mr Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL (XD). I offered the big olive branch of TTSH work attachment, and fortunately it was accepted. I’m kinda stuck though… She said she didn’t want to be rushed into reconciliation (the stronger term she used was “forced”, which REALLY makes me feel bad. As in the “Oh crap, I’ve killed someone” kind of bad. I even had a cold chill tingle down my spine…Did I really deserve that?)

I’m feeling as if I’ve given my part (and time! It’s A-Levels soon!) to build bridges. I suspect she has too. Honestly, while its not exactly very in-the-spirit-of-teamwork, I think I can just leave it. I can live with it, and I’m sure SFC won’t be paralyzed by it, without friends constantly digging this out as an example of disunity within the club. Yes, I know there wasn't any finger pointing during the little group therapy session, but there was at least 1 person in the room who can’t escape referencing, however misguidedly, to this little problem.

And that’s all I have time for. Bearing in mind that this blog is anything but private, and that Jolene may also be reading (Since I seldom dare to say it in real life, HI!), I hope to escape getting lynched. But seriously, I’m glad things have thawed. There is more SMS traffic between us now, which may or may not translate to actual dialogue. Perhaps what comes next will be candid-and-honest-discussions? The end of the invisible act (ok, fine, I’m guilty of that as well)? I’m uncomfortable, slightly afraid and out of my depth when dealing with this. (not to mention guilty for coming across as forceful. I’ve unwittingly joined the ranks of stalkers. Hoo-bleeding-ray) *resigned laughter* Still, things are looking up, so...*shrugs*, live with it.